We Were Once a Family
- Downloads：5862
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2024-03-15 15:23:03
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Roxanna Asgarian
- ISBN：1250321921
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Carly
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Listened on audio-such a sad story that I couldn’t put down。 We all heard about the story of the lesbian couple who drove their car off a cliff with their six adopted Black children in their car。 It was sadly easy to forget this story as it fell from the headlines…。This book details how these students ended up in these woman’s care。 How the foster care system punishes low income， often of color， families and portrays white adoptive families as saviors。 The adoptive system in Houston failed these Listened on audio-such a sad story that I couldn’t put down。 We all heard about the story of the lesbian couple who drove their car off a cliff with their six adopted Black children in their car。 It was sadly easy to forget this story as it fell from the headlines…。This book details how these students ended up in these woman’s care。 How the foster care system punishes low income， often of color， families and portrays white adoptive families as saviors。 The adoptive system in Houston failed these children as did social services。 Neighbors and friends tried to report the mothers for abuse and neglect and the authorities failed to investigate fully。 This is thorough reporting on how so many interconnected systems have racist practices and how children suffer as a result of it。 Highly informative listen or read that I’d recommend even if just to learn more about the foster care and child welfare systems。 。。。more
Ashley Smyth
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I was really hoping for a true crime， in depth book about the story of the Hart family。 About 15% of the book focuses on that while the other 85% is focused on the horrible foster/adoption/CPS system in America。。。it seemed the author used the popularity of the Hart family story to share so much about a broken system but I wanted more details about the Hart family。 I imagined a Netflix documentary type book with snippets about how bad the system is。。。still such a tragedy what happened to those 6 I was really hoping for a true crime， in depth book about the story of the Hart family。 About 15% of the book focuses on that while the other 85% is focused on the horrible foster/adoption/CPS system in America。。。it seemed the author used the popularity of the Hart family story to share so much about a broken system but I wanted more details about the Hart family。 I imagined a Netflix documentary type book with snippets about how bad the system is。。。still such a tragedy what happened to those 6 kids。 。。。more
Susan
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4。25
Jen Kamish
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“The general understanding of the system， which is responsible for about 425，000 children around the country， is vague at best， and many people hold misconceptions about the parents and children who become entangled within it。 Mainstream media outlets often report about the child welfare system only when major cases of child abuse happen; without systemic analysis， these stories can end up promoting more punitive policies aimed at families who need help。 In fact， about 75 percent of child welfar “The general understanding of the system， which is responsible for about 425，000 children around the country， is vague at best， and many people hold misconceptions about the parents and children who become entangled within it。 Mainstream media outlets often report about the child welfare system only when major cases of child abuse happen; without systemic analysis， these stories can end up promoting more punitive policies aimed at families who need help。 In fact， about 75 percent of child welfare cases involve not abuse but neglect， which can often be caused by or confused with poverty。”“We remove kids for neglect and place them in strangers’ homes， and give the stranger a monthly stipend to take care of the child，” Dettlaff says。 “What if we just gave that one thousand dollars a month to the mother who needed it？”Mic drop。 🎤 。。。more
Leslie
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Prior to picking up this book， I had only heard snippets about the Hart family murders through the news。 What struck me about this book was its thorough coverage of the lives of the six children involved， shedding light on their birth families and the systemic failures that ultimately led to this tragic event， rather than solely focusing on hypothesizing why the adoptive mothers committed these murders。 It brings attention to the privileges and abuses of power that white parents may wield in ado Prior to picking up this book， I had only heard snippets about the Hart family murders through the news。 What struck me about this book was its thorough coverage of the lives of the six children involved， shedding light on their birth families and the systemic failures that ultimately led to this tragic event， rather than solely focusing on hypothesizing why the adoptive mothers committed these murders。 It brings attention to the privileges and abuses of power that white parents may wield in adoption cases， as well as the systemic inequities that perpetuate racism and marginalize Black and Brown families。While the author effectively exposes the shortcomings of the child welfare system， the book inadvertently generalizes all cases of parental rights loss as being solely the fault of the system， which isn't always accurate。 The author omits details regarding why the biological aunt was unable to truly get custody （she was handing kids back over to bio mom while in her care， and bio mom was on drugs）， so while I appreciate highlighting the systemic inequities in the foster care system the author also selectively omits information that does not support her narrative as to why the children were placed in foster care in the first place。 The recent case of the 5-year-old foster child， Harmony Montgomery， who was reunited with her biological father and then murdered by him shortly thereafter， serves as a reminder that reunification isn't always the safest or best option， despite the author generalizing that it is for all cases in this book。 Ultimately， this book underscores the urgent need for reform within the foster care system， which is clearly failing far too many children。 。。。more
Mikaila Richards
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I really enjoyed reading the author’s thorough research and investigation in telling the stories of the birth parents/families of the 6 children who lost their lives at the hands of their adoptive parents。 She did such amazing work in conveying the stories of the families of the children whose lives were lost in such tragedy。 Such a heartbreaking story that likely could have had a different outcome had Sherry and Tammy along with their relatives had the proper supports they needed to raise thei I really enjoyed reading the author’s thorough research and investigation in telling the stories of the birth parents/families of the 6 children who lost their lives at the hands of their adoptive parents。 She did such amazing work in conveying the stories of the families of the children whose lives were lost in such tragedy。 Such a heartbreaking story that likely could have had a different outcome had Sherry and Tammy along with their relatives had the proper supports they needed to raise their children。 This book serves as a reminder that as a society we need to be better at protecting children as well as parents and families as a whole who are involved with CPS。 。。。more
Ryan Saunders
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Incredibly depressing。 Hopefully by the author highlighting this topic change can happen。
Erin
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very well written This is a tough book to read because of the topic。 But it’s also a tough book to try to capture everyone’s side of the story， meaning the children， the bloodline parents， the adoptive parents and the government。 This book goes into more detail about adoption system than just the Hart family tragedy which I thought was very interesting。 Never a dull moment in this book。
Amanda
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This was a hard book to read， bc it was so infuriating how the system really let these kids & their families down。 It made me so sad for them， & for the millions of children & families that have to go through the foster care system & child protective services。 I wish these were systems we didn't need， but sadly we do。 If you have ever been personally affected by either the foster care system or CPS this may or may not be for you。 But just because a book doesn't have a happy ending or it pisses y This was a hard book to read， bc it was so infuriating how the system really let these kids & their families down。 It made me so sad for them， & for the millions of children & families that have to go through the foster care system & child protective services。 I wish these were systems we didn't need， but sadly we do。 If you have ever been personally affected by either the foster care system or CPS this may or may not be for you。 But just because a book doesn't have a happy ending or it pisses you off， doesn't detract from the story needing to be told。 If you like true crime， real life events， it's a great read。 。。。more
Angie
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One of the most biased books I have ever read。 The author pushed her agenda while completely glossing over the abuse and neglect of the children by their biological families/fictive kin。
Sarah
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This book was a doozy。 So painfully hard to read。 The reporting/journalism/writing was excellent， thorough， and humanizing。 Excellent book if you can stomach all the trauma - don’t look away， we need reform。
Joyce
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Moving story， incredible reporting。 I learned a lot about foster care， the role of the state， and texas
Carie
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This was a CASA assigned book that focuses on the many controversies of the child welfare system， adoption， race， gender…。 Very well written and researched
Sadie
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This book was remarkably well researched by long-term investigative journalist Roxanna Asgarian。 It was heavy， but powerful and simply well done。 It dives into the lives and murder of 6 adopted children: Hannah， Markis， Jeremiah， Abigail， Devonte， and Ciera。 These bi-racial and Black children were killed by and with their adoptive white mothers: Sara and Jennifer Hart。 The Hart parents had over 10 years of DCS abuse allegations and paraded their family on the internet as an example of love…going This book was remarkably well researched by long-term investigative journalist Roxanna Asgarian。 It was heavy， but powerful and simply well done。 It dives into the lives and murder of 6 adopted children: Hannah， Markis， Jeremiah， Abigail， Devonte， and Ciera。 These bi-racial and Black children were killed by and with their adoptive white mothers: Sara and Jennifer Hart。 The Hart parents had over 10 years of DCS abuse allegations and paraded their family on the internet as an example of love…going viral many times。 What makes this book so powerful it Asgarian’s approach in focusing on their biological families - with an in-depth look into the complicated and beautiful lives of these children’s parents， grandparents， family， friends， and community; as well as the deep history of child removal in the US （and more specifically the kids’ birth state of Texas）。 We live in a society that shuns， punishes， and disregards biological families （even in cases where removal and adoption was absolutely needed）。 I’ve seen it through and through as a foster and adoptive mom by our society and the System。 I’m thankful for deep journalism like this to that sheds a light on systems as complicated as child welfare。 l hope that it will shape our collective understanding of biological ties and navigating “raising other people’s kids” for the better。 。。。more
Elise Cavanaugh
，
Utterly infuriating to read， but that's what makes it so important。 This book is well-researched， well-written， and offers nuanced and sensitive storytelling about child removal and the broken child welfare system in the U。S。 It provides plenty of context regarding the horrific Hart family case， in which two white adoptive mothers drove their family of six Black children off a cliff in 2018， but what I appreciated about this book is it is not just a true crime story （which I would view as exploi Utterly infuriating to read， but that's what makes it so important。 This book is well-researched， well-written， and offers nuanced and sensitive storytelling about child removal and the broken child welfare system in the U。S。 It provides plenty of context regarding the horrific Hart family case， in which two white adoptive mothers drove their family of six Black children off a cliff in 2018， but what I appreciated about this book is it is not just a true crime story （which I would view as exploitative of the murders of these six vulnerable children）。 Instead， Asgarian explores the （MANY） deeper issues that contributed to these children's （preventable！） removals from their families which led to this tragedy， and the ways in which the child protective system is fundamentally unable to effectively and equitably protect children then and now。 。。。more
Jennifer Grace
，
this book…wow。 Even though I’m a social worker in Texas that works with KIDS， I was not aware of even half of the awful child welfare policies in TX。 I love the author so much for focusing on the children and their birth families rather than the murderers， because why should we feel sorry for them in any capacity？？ I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking about this case， but I’m grateful to have a better understanding of our foster care system and why it fails so many families。
Tali Davidson
，
'We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love， Death， and Child Removal in America' was a really hard book to read because of how heartbreaking it was but it was really good to see another side of the Foster Care system。 What was shocking to me was how recent all of this happened。 It was hard to see how the system was so broken just a few years ago， and knowing that there are still some aspects that are really broken。 The way this book was written was a respectful and beautiful memorial for everyone i 'We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love， Death， and Child Removal in America' was a really hard book to read because of how heartbreaking it was but it was really good to see another side of the Foster Care system。 What was shocking to me was how recent all of this happened。 It was hard to see how the system was so broken just a few years ago， and knowing that there are still some aspects that are really broken。 The way this book was written was a respectful and beautiful memorial for everyone involved in this story。 I can’t think of a single way the author could have done things better。 This definitely just strengthened my desire to work in the foster care system！ 。。。more
Amanda
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very compelling and well written
Rebecca
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Discusses the Hart Family Murders: 2 mothers with 6 adopted black children who drove off a cliff to kill themselves and the kids。 They had prior issues with adoption， and complaints of abuse and racism by the kids。 Motives are still unclear to this day。 Focuses primarily on the children and biological parent’s stories， and discussion about the foster care system， adoption process， and CPS。 Emphasizes judges and lawyers， combined with inadequate parents， who abuse of the laws and incentives put i Discusses the Hart Family Murders: 2 mothers with 6 adopted black children who drove off a cliff to kill themselves and the kids。 They had prior issues with adoption， and complaints of abuse and racism by the kids。 Motives are still unclear to this day。 Focuses primarily on the children and biological parent’s stories， and discussion about the foster care system， adoption process， and CPS。 Emphasizes judges and lawyers， combined with inadequate parents， who abuse of the laws and incentives put into place to help children。 Emphasis on system bias against the poor， POC， and mentally ill。 My biggest criticism is that the author seems to victimize biological parents despite their controversial behavior。 The message in some ways is somewhat skewed， but the intention of humanizing them is there。 Very heartbreaking and thought-provoking。 It’s unfortunately a complex problem with no blanket solution。 The message that the system is broken and we as society need to put these children first as we are failing them is evident。 。。。more
Martha
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This is a heartbreaking telling of the double suicide of a same sex couple and the murder of their six helpless adopted children by driving off a cliff。The story details how the children came into social care， their birth parents rights dismissed by a judicial system who is profoundly prejudiced against people of color。
Amelia Kassing
，
DEVASTATING “What motivated me most was to see， and to share， the parts of the story that have been made invisible: The real and complicated families these children came from。 The children themselves。 And the involvement of a system that directed the course of their short lived， a system that remained unaccountable for their deaths。”
Melinda
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Eye opening， rage inducing， heartbreaking。 Uncomfortable to read at time， but a very important story to be told。
Gabi
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Painful， heartbreaking， important read。
Abby Dehmlow
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Tragic， but beautifully handled。
carissa
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Sad book about CPS， foster care， and family court system。 Need to be prepared to hear very sad stories with no happy endings。
Sarah Hyatt
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A difficult and important book。I'm going to talk about a minor thing because this book brought it all back for me。 A microcosm of failure。What will stick with me and what resonated the most was reading the seemingly insignificant and genuinely neutral comments and excerpts of documentation， as well as the blatant errors， that are so typical of the foster care system/systems in general。 Little throwaway comments like "[Child] likes bananas" or incorrect statements about childrens' histories or ac A difficult and important book。I'm going to talk about a minor thing because this book brought it all back for me。 A microcosm of failure。What will stick with me and what resonated the most was reading the seemingly insignificant and genuinely neutral comments and excerpts of documentation， as well as the blatant errors， that are so typical of the foster care system/systems in general。 Little throwaway comments like "[Child] likes bananas" or incorrect statements about childrens' histories or activities or behavior。 And all that piles up， and， in this case， covers up an absolute disaster。 And yet there were so many signs。I don't know if I'd five star this under normal circumstances。 From an editorial perspective it was at times confusing， and while I know the point wasn't to dive deep into the history of the child welfare system， some subjects felt too quickly glossed over。 Normally it would be a 4 star for me for these minor reasons， but honestly the overall subject of the book is so accurate and so often unaddressed that it gets five stars just for shining a light on the absolute failure and mess that is the supposed child welfare system。 。。。more
Laura
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In March 2018， Jennifer and Sarah Hart murdered all six of their adopted Black children when Jennifer intentinally drove their SUV over a 100-foot cliff in California。 Jennifer and Sarah were white and were allowed to keep their children， despite many instances and accusations of abuse。 The children were removed from their families due to addiction problems and adoption proceedings were started very soon after the children came into the Texas foster children system。 This book is a hard read， it In March 2018， Jennifer and Sarah Hart murdered all six of their adopted Black children when Jennifer intentinally drove their SUV over a 100-foot cliff in California。 Jennifer and Sarah were white and were allowed to keep their children， despite many instances and accusations of abuse。 The children were removed from their families due to addiction problems and adoption proceedings were started very soon after the children came into the Texas foster children system。 This book is a hard read， it is very well researched and the tone of outrage about the system is not hidden。 It is very depressing to read about children forced to leave their families and being so helplessly lost in a network that seems very broken and unfair。 。。。more
Mell Simons
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Hard to rate a book this tough as 5 stars， but as far as reporting goes， this was top notch and thorough。
Cheri Swalwell
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I wanted to read this book because of the back cover description but it was hard to read at times。 My heart broke for the children and all they went through。 It definitely will leave me changed after reading it。 Thank you for the opportunity to climb into the life of this family and feel their pain for a moment in time。
Carolyn
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